# The Code of the Extraordinary Mind  ## Metadata - Author: [[Vishen Lakhiani]] - Full Title: The Code of the Extraordinary Mind - Category: #books ## Highlights - A fish is the last to see that it’s swimming in a substance called water. Likewise we’re often last to see how we’re swimming within a mass of collective human thoughts—what I call the culturescape—and how this completely saturates and influences our lives. ([Location 429](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=429)) - Outside the rules of physics and the rules of law, all other rules are open to questioning. ([Location 508](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=508)) - Our language shapes what we “see.” ([Location 548](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=548)) - If you can’t win, change the rules. If you can’t change the rules, ignore them. ([Location 733](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=733)) - at the end of any situation like that, ask your child, “Billy, what happened? What was the consequence? What can you learn from this?” Shelly makes it very clear. Don’t ask Billy, “Why did you do that?” Why questions corner a child and put the child on the defensive. For one thing, the child is emotional, and even many adults can’t answer why in the grip of emotion. ([Location 1796](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=1796)) - It’s all about finding and hiring people smarter than you, getting them to join your business and giving them good work, then getting out of the way and trusting them. You have to get out of the way so you can focus on the bigger vision. That’s important, but here is the main thing: You must make them see their work as a mission. ([Location 2033](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2033)) - IT PUTS HAPPINESS OUTSIDE OF OUR OWN POWER. ([Location 2597](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=2597)) - MEANS GOALS USUALLY HAVE A “SO” IN THEM. Means goals don’t stand alone but are stepping-stones to something else. They’re part of a sequence. For example: Get a good GPA so you can get into a good college. ([Location 3154](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3154)) - What experiences do you want to have in this lifetime? 2. How do you want to grow? 3. How do you want to contribute? ([Location 3188](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3188)) - this is what the ancient Zen masters (and Yoda) meant by non-attachment to goals. They didn’t mean “do not have goals.” Have goals. But your happiness should not be attached to the completion of your goals. ([Location 3513](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3513)) - This is the most disempowering kind of model to have, because you’re blaming outside circumstances for what happens in your life. ([Location 3537](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3537)) - In order to be truly unfuckwithable, you need to lose your need to seek validation or love from others and to judge them when you perceive that they are not giving you what you need. ([Location 3539](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3539)) - There is nothing more attractive than a person who loves himself or herself so deeply that their positive energy and love spill over to others and to the world. ([Location 3546](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3546)) - First Life happens TO you. Then Life happens as you CHOOSE. Then Life happens FROM you. Then Life happens THROUGH you. ([Location 3690](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3690)) - How do we define a calling? It’s pretty simple: A calling is your contribution to the human race. It’s something that helps us leave the planet better for our children. ([Location 3711](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3711)) - I would say trust. I have an incredible trust in life. One of my favorite quotes is a little misquote: “Live life as though everything is rigged in your favor.” ([Location 3749](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3749)) - Note: Secular version of faith in God has a plan for you - Behind every problem, there’s a question trying to ask itself. Behind every question, there’s an answer trying to reveal itself. Behind every answer, there’s an action trying to take place. And behind every action, there’s a way of life trying to be born. ([Location 3780](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3780)) - All of humanity—all cultures, all nations, and all people seem to resonate with you as part of one family. Ken Wilber describes this phenomenon as moving into world-centric consciousness. ([Location 3848](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3848)) - You don’t have to save the world. Just don’t mess it up for the next generation. ([Location 3942](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3942)) - Perhaps like me, you grew up in a world where children were asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” That’s a sure setup for a Brule-based life. I believe that in the future we’ll instead be asking children, “What positive mark do you want to leave on the world in your lifetime?” ([Location 3999](https://readwise.io/to_kindle?action=open&asin=B0182SMOBE&location=3999))